1. I RESPECT OUR FRIENDSHIP TOO MUCH TO DATE YOU: This is a maddening statement because whoever says it is effectively trying to position him or herself as the best friend ever, when in fact they’re just too cowardly to admit that they’re not interested in a relationship with you. Everyone knows that true love is rooted in friendship, so, if anything, the fact that you’re such great friends should count as a tick in the relationship upside column. Dating doesn’t mean abandoning a friendship. It means expanding upon it.
2. I’M NOT READY TO DATE YET: The cold hard truth is that everyone is ready for a relationship the second they meet someone they actually want to date. If someone positions their lack of willingness to date you as a function of lack of readiness to date in general, they’re either delusional about they way things work, or they’re flat-out lying.
3. YOUR LIKE A SIBLING TO ME: Oh really? How nice! Not. The most annoying part about this comment is that the speaker is preying upon your natural aversion to incest rather than owning their reluctance to enter into a relationship with you. Ew.
4. YOU’RE NEVER SINGLE WHEN I AM:Hmmm. Interesting. But, no. Not a hint of honesty to this one. If someone really wants to date you, they should have the decency to at least try to sabotage your existing relationship if you’re in one. When someone resigns themselves to moping from the sidelines instead of making a move, it’s an obvious sign that the desire’s just not there so they should spare you the blah blah blah and stop pretending otherwise.
5. IF ONLY WE HAD MET SOME YEARS BACK: Right. Because it’s totally reasonable to suggest the impossible. What about the past would make such a big whopping difference, anyway? If you want to date someone, you try to make it happen at whatever time you’re lucky enough to cross paths. Let’s not blame Time for failing to thrust you into the arms of your Prince or Princess Charming at the exact right second.
6. IF ONLY WE COULD MEET IN THE FUTURE:Another way to take things out on Time instead of saying how you really feel. Sigh.